Gritfiction

Last week I had a long look at my Afghanistan Diary and realised that it needed editing.  When I say editing, I mean cut.  Whilst doing the front cover I worked out a plan as to how the layout would be.  It was going to be a tongue in cheek bit of humour.  I’d long thought of putting up instructions on how to operate a Billy Burner and build a makeshift toilet.

I found that the layout and imagery would be a major part of this work and hoped that the new Kindle would cater for many of my needs.  I would hasten to say that my knowledge of HTML is limited to I’ll forego those many nested table options that KF8 offer.  Instead I’ll put more detailed information sheets in the form of a JPG image.

I’ve come to realise that to make a good diary, I need to make it entertaining.  I’ve got plenty of colourful characters in it to entertain and many a slaughtered animal features in it too. 

I’ve become a fan of photoshop overnight and had to get the layer’s principle under my belt.  Nothing too taxing on the brain.

Like the CEOs of a few publishing firms I can name, I have decided to turn my back on Literary Agents.  I didn’t have much faith in them, anyhow.  As for Publishing firms… Well, I might as well not even give them a sniff.  Thankfully we have e-publishing which wrestles power from those Agents and Publishing Firms.  I remember the drive and persistence I had back in October 2011.  I hand wrote 11 letters to major Tabloids in Britain including The Sun and The Mirror (all supporters of HM Forces).  I stamped the back of each envelope my Regimental crest and date to authenticate this.  I even stated that the collection of short stories I wrote were to help a charity that supported limbless service personnel.  I didn’t get anything back, not even an automated reply in the post stating that they thanked me for taking the time or that they were too busy.  I spent a further amount of effort to push out articles, interviews and magazine competitions offering free copies of my book if they completed the crossword.  Nothing.  Not a sausage.  I asked my publisher how many copies I sold and he said three, including the one I bought.  I might as well have pissed 33,000 words down a drain for all the effort it took. 

I published an e-short story through Amazon in the January of 2012.  After stating on Facebook that it was going for free – I had 870 downloads in one night.  It was only 77p, but in the grand scheme of things this ‘mouthful of Lager bought from a posh restaurant in London’ seemed a little too expensive.  But for free. 

I have to do a few things to get control of this:

I suppose I have to put down my cynicism and understand that this is human nature. 

I must expect nothing in return, but the bare faced recognition of work in words. So I will write for myself and anyone that likes it, well, good for them. 

I now understand that for me, writing is a side show, a platter with a cracker and some grapes (I don’t like cheese).  My main course is Health and Safety – that reaps in enough for me to live.  I shouldn’t expect anything else from stringing the odd sentence together.

This week it’s been announced that JK Rowling is going to write a new novel for adults! The woman who is known worldwide for the Harry Potter series is now branching out into the world of adult fiction and the media have had a field day. Why, though? Let’s face it, Harry may have been written with children in mind but it crossed all boundaries. Adults thought nothing of reading Harry Potter on their morning commute on the train. Bloomsbury Publishing even reissued the books with adult covers but, let’s face it, the covers hadn’t put anyone off.
+++++Why are the media getting so excited about the emergence of an adult book from Rowling? Because they like writers to be pigeon-holed. JK Rowling has been known as a “children’s writer” but now that she is writing an adult book, the media won’t know how to define her.
+++++As a writer, one of the first questions people ask you is “What do you write?” I find that one difficult as I write all sorts of things. I’ve tried my hand at chick lit, brit grit and all sorts of s**t. My collection ‘Letting Go’ is available on Amazon now. I decided to put together a collection because I had eight short stories waiting to be read. The only thing these stories had in common was that they all have a twist in the tale.
+++++‘Letting Go’ hasn’t been published in the conventional sense. It’s only available as an e-book at the moment, I don’t have an agent nor do I have a publisher. “How is this so?” I hear you ask. I self-published my collection. Some people think this isn’t a very good idea. The opinion that only losers or failures self publish is fairly common but the e-book and e-reader revolution means that self-publishing is actually seen as a great way to establish yourself as a writer. It’s acknowledged in the publishing world as a great way to build a fan base and increase recognition of you and your work. If you then approach an agent with impressive sales figures, you are proving yourself to be a valuable asset. If you can demonstrate an ability to make money, an agent will want a cut of that!
+++++I self-published my short stories because it gives me independence over my work. I don’t write in one particular genre at the moment and going through a traditional agent and publisher route often means you have to be “classified” in one genre or another. I haven’t quite found one genre I want to write in – maybe I never will – but at the moment, self-publishing allows me more freedom to experiment with genres, voices and topics. I see this as an opportunity to hone my craft, gather reviews, feedback and hopefully one or two people who enjoy my work. What I also like about self-publishing is the control I have over the end product.
+++++Being defined by a genre helps a writer because it makes a pitch easier when writing to an agent and then when the agent pitches to a publisher. However, why should a talented writer be pigeon-holed? Why not take every idea that appears and run with it?
+++++I think JK Rowling’s foray into adult fiction may blaze a trail for the rest of us.
+++++If you’re in the UK, you can download ‘Letting Go’ at: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Letting-Go-ebook/dp/B007A6VAVA/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_img_2

+++++In the states, ‘Letting Go’ is available at: http://www.amazon.com/Letting-Go-ebook/dp/B007A6VAVA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330867198&sr=8-1
+++++You can also read more of my work at: http://elementaryvwatson.wordpress.com
+++++You can catch me at goodreads.com and twitter @vpeanuts

Nigel Farage berates the European Parliament about he euro crisis.  I’m no expert in European Politics, but this bloke stands up for what veterans of WW2 and WW1 fought and died for!

Trestle Press.

These, I don’t know why I’m saying ‘these.’ It suggests there’s a few people involved- there isn’t.  It’s one man.  I struggle to call someone a man when they call themselves ‘The G Man’.  No doubt he spoke about himself in third person too. Looking in the mirror in the morning and telling himself that ‘The G Man’ is going to have a good day.  Anyway this bloke is like the peado of the literacy world… grabbing onto people’s dreams of being published, giving them a bit of patter and somehow getting them all to buy each other’s stories and review them, thus creating a mirage that the writers are doing alright. Any questions asked where met with talk of ‘trust’.  Just like good old Uncle Ssh.
+++++It soon became clear that the G man was doing little more than taking the work of a writer, converting it to Kindle and sticking about 3 words up for a quid.  Further investigation showed that he was ripping the god awful covers (a few were OK- I admit) from Google Images of all places.  Send a story with a man and a gun and Trestle would Google search a ‘man with a gun’ and hey presto – instant cover.  Horrible boogey green font imaginable to man an out of line publisher label (also nicked).  A warning bigger than the stories not to share the ‘books’ slapped in the front and it was off to Amazon.
+++++I’ve nothing against the writers that were with TP.  Some are mates of mine, most are decent writers. Sadly, though a lot were taken in by being ‘published’ when really it would have been better to get some honest feedback and go cut their teeth some more.  Which having been rejected and then accepted by a couple of top titles in my time, I know how much good the few hours of misery that getting a rejection cause. The whole situation has caused all writers involved to have set backs. Some will rise up, shake off the shit and carry on. Other’s will pack up and stop writing, which is a bloody shame.
+++++I hope the writers who’s name TP put on the nicked covers don’t get any follow up crap to deal with as I’ll say know there is no chance this scam artist’s name is Gio G. He won’t be the one that has to deal with anything. He’ll just shut up shop and open another publisher for the next lot of writers. The bastard.
+++++Like many I thought that it might have been an honest mistake or he was just thick as pig shit. However on reading the statement he put out and seeing how he is clearly trying to keep the remaining members of his cult happy, I can see he is just a scamming cunt.
+++++I have the guy’s real name on file. I won’t post it here as naming the G man as being peado-ish is OK as it’s not his real name. It’s like calling Santa a nonce.

For now look out for some decent publishers titles such as Radgepacket 6.

G Man- Bite me.

That’s me back to work today.  A very busy schedule and I think I might be biting off more than I can chew.  Just managing to keep this afloat.

Deleted, as it makes no sense whatsoever. I agree with the comment below.

This week some terrible shit’s been going down. A teenager killed in a Piranha attack. What the fuck!? You only get to see that shit in films. Some pissed up bloke from Bolivia decided to take a dip in a river.

As studies say, Piranha’s don’t attack humans unless they are cornered, or starving or forced to. This, apparently was a rare, one off occasion. You must be fucking mad to go swimming in a river in South America. You’ve got the crocs, the gators and the fucking pygmies with their poison darts. And the cannibals. I’ve seen Cannibal Ferrox – I’ve got 2 copies. I did the wrong thing and bought the first one in a UK store – it had ‘Banned in over 30 countries’ on the front. What it didn’t say was that the film was cut. Absolutely shite. I didn’t buy a film claiming to be banned in over 30 countries to watch a trimmed version. I bought second DVD on Amazon from a US vendor. Better! Brain eating scene, disembowelment scene the fucking lot included. Nice one! And it was half the fucking price of the UK one!

Not so stealthy Drone downed over Iran

+++++US Stealth drone downed over Iran was on CIA mission? You fucking idiots. You’ve only given the Iranians tip top secret information on drone technology. The Iranians are claiming to have shot down the Unmanned Air System. They probably haven’t, but I bet it’s being dragged by camel to a Bedouin in the Iranian desert. No doubt, to be put on display as a trophy for some anonymous farmer’s village. Top Iranian scientists are being assassinated as well – this is probably the work of Israeli and US agencies. A hit team on motorbikes mounted a bomb on the poor fucker’s car and blew him up. Definitely sounds like Mossad to me.

I doubt the US could fund another campaign in another country, but, it’s only a stone’s throw away from Afghanistan. All they need to do is up sticks and jump to the left a little. Now the Iranian have probably got this drone, they will develop technology to screw us over. If they can mount a nuke on one of those things, they will.

What’s the main problem we’re facing here? Nuclear Weapons. Pakistan have them – that’s why we’re in Afghanistan. That’s the primary reason. Don’t give me any bullshit about September 11th, those attacks were a perfect excuse to send an Army into Afghanistan in an order to stable the place a little. I’m not privy to any Conspiracy theory bullshit, but I reckon we need to stabilize the area. Who else has got the nukes? China, Russia, India, US, UK, France er…. Iran will soon. Who’s fault is it? It’s Germany’s fault. If they hadn’t persecuted the Jews in the 1930s, Albert Einstein wouldn’t have fucked off to the US. The same should be said for Julius Oppenheimer’s, father, a wealthy Jewish Textile Importer who fucked off to the US in 1888. The Yanks wouldn’t have been in such a rush to get the Manhattan project underway. Oppenheimer remarks on Hindu scripture when witnessing the bomb function. Lines from a Linkin Park song taken from the quote:

We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita; Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty and, to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, ‘Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.’ I suppose we all thought that, one way or another.’

So if it’s Nuclear Weapons, then perhaps we need to create some rationale to combat the fear of these chain reactant weapons. Embrace their use and have a war with them. Put ourselves back into the stone age.

Forgive my ignorance, but I’ve failed, yet again to keep abreast of events.  People are striking today and yesterday Radio 4 were asking the question, ‘Where are you going to take your children, on the day of the strike?’  The reason for the teachers to strike is their pensions.  I suppose if you leave the pensions as they are the standard of living for ageing teachers will decrease.

There was a crowd of formidable lecturers outside the camp I work in.  They numbered a dastardly dozen and glared at passing cars with determined looks.  They were huddled beneath a group of trees to keep out the rain, but what concerned many people was the lack of direction or conviction (apart from the look of determination).  No billboards with slogans such as, ‘Save our Pensions’ or something more strong like ‘Down with the state’ or ‘Revolution’.  Ha ha ha!  Revolution, my arse.  No balls.  The ‘crowd’ of teachers weren’t shouting Scabs at those who weren’t striking.

Wouldn’t it be great if the Schools were covered by the Army?  Wouldn’t that instil some discipline into the little shites that disrupt classes.  You could have a PT session.  PT stands for Physical Training and is a lot more arduous than PE (Physical Education).  PE is for wusses and PT will fuck them up something rotten.  A good 2 hour drill session on the playing field will have them crying.  Lessons can include Bayonet practice and Skill at Arms with the 50 cal machine gun.  An inspection of the classrooms (at 5am) the following day prior to the teachers’ return should see the school in ship shape condition.

It’s alright for the teachers to go on strike, but what about little Johnny or little Suzy?  What the fuck are they gonna do at their parent’s place of work?  What about the Scenes Of Crime Officer who cleans up scenes of erm.. crime.  That would leave the child scarred for life if they’re cleaning viscera and gore from the walls of a murder victim.  Why don’t the children go on strike?  That way the teachers will have to play catch up and reach their targets.

The Iranians are going a bit spastic on the Embassy, aren’t they?  Fucking hell.  I didn’t know they felt so strongly

That's it love. Get your head down, in front of the fucking cameras.

about the sanctions?  Fancy that, eh?  Putting the picture of the queen upside down; that’s going to incite some anger….not.  So Iran has downscaled its relationship with Britain.  So what’s going to look like on the Facebook profile?  ‘It’s complicated’?  No more online collaboration in the ‘World of Warcraft’ world…  Why don’t we resolve all our issues in worlds such as these.  Why don’t all the politicians do it online.  It might a lot cheaper and their avatars might be better looking than the snivelling, farting, pissing cabinet in the Commons.

She looks like she’s taking her child to school.  The child wields an action figure doll and they sway to the movement of the tram as it hurtles through some suburban area of London.  The tram is full, so on second thoughts she may be returning home from somewhere else, maybe it’s from school or work.  The woman is looking about herself and so begins an infamous tirade of abuse at the black and non-British passengers around her.  The tirade is made infamous by the use of ‘Youtube’ – I myself am guilty of watching this video, I’m one of the hundred thousands who have.  To be quite honest the only thing that stopped that woman from getting a good kicking was the child on her lap.  I implore the woman to try this again at the same time, but without the protection of the child.
+++++Much to what I expected the woman looked like she’d had a few beers inside of her.  She remains the viral infection of the mind, an ignorant, malignant tumour, bereft of imagination or reason.  It’s a microcosmic screenshot of the disease that has gripped large communities of Britain today.  Perhaps the only way we can rid of this is by time, like a bad hangover, time is the only cure.   How can the woman do that to her child?  I get the impression that the child was used to that sort of behaviour and that the woman was a wino.  I bet she’s keeping her head low after the amount of publicity she’s had from Youtube.